The million-dollar question: when will you meet the one?

Many singles, especially those who’ve been on the solo road for some time, might frequently ask themselves the million-dollar question: When will I meet the person for me?

Obviously, it’d be impossible for anyone to pinpoint the exact time and place.  However, I’ve spotted an interesting trend which seems to be able to predict roughly when the time might be near. There’s an undeniable common thread able to crack the code and foresee when singleness won’t be anything but a distant memory. Important to keep in mind about my little theory, is it won’t apply to every single single. And although it goes without saying I do find it important to underline that there isn’t only way to meet a significant other. So here goes my grain of salt warning regarding the pattern I’m about to discuss.

So, when will you meet the one?  Plenty of singles encounter the right person straight after being involved with what I’ve named “the close call”. The close call is a potential partner who’s on the same wavelength, with similar life goals and values and who ticks off all the right boxes. There’s mutual interest, care, and chemistry between the two. On paper, it’s a match! The relationship progresses as it should to a T. Yet despite all odds, it never goes beyond the official committed relationship point. 

The blocking of a romantic relationship can manifest for various reasons; the discovery of difference in uncompromising desires (children is a common one), the other person is not ready (even if they genuinely want to be) or outer uncontrollable circumstances like a faraway move. The breakdown of the “close call” love affair, in my opinion, can serve as an indicator of the distance to the real deal showing up. There are three main reactions I’ve seen to “the close call” scenario. Let’s have a look!

Devastation. The crash and burn of a desired outcome will naturally lead to negative emotions and thoughts, there’s no way around it. As a cation, if  bitterness, resentment, hopelessness or victim mode grabs a firm hold, I’d say there’s bigger fish to fry. It might convincingly appear as if the inner turmoil is solely related and isolated to, the crumbled relationship. However, it’s very likely the situation was a trigger for a deeper rooted issue. 

The inability to let go. This version as a strategy is something I’ve observed more times than I could count. A relationship clearly falls through, yet the single holds on for dear life. Being unable to release usually includes attempting to force what isn’t meant to be, lowering one’s standard (by settling for a dissatisfying arrangement), rolling one’s thumbs while waiting for the situation to change and lastly, going over and beyond by making disproportionate sacrifices to mend the bond. I suspect all these reactions are a result of a deceiving underlying belief claiming the ongoing situation is as good as it can get. In my experience, the inability to let go does nothing but prolonging the inevitable. 

Both mentioned reactions mentioned require detailed introspections of all beliefs and emotions leading to the resistance of reality. The main aim should be healing and self-understanding or awareness not on a lover.

Let me introduce the final type of reaction: 

Surrender. Accepting and appreciating “the close call” experience encapsulates the true essence of surrender. I believe this state arises from a trust in life with the courage to face and choose a loss despite the discomfort. To be crystal clear, surrender doesn’t exclude negative or difficult emotions. And conflicting emotions do not cancel appreciation for what once was. The choice to give in is driven by the underlying confidenceo recover emotionally, with time. The widely known saying time heals all wounds is much more than just a cliché.

In my opinion surrender can be the magic indicator revealing the approximate distance to meeting the right person. For the single able to look back, honor and value the close call are truly onto something. It’s not about clinging on to or giving up on love. Instead it’s about bravely realizing when a relationship has run it’s course and giving in. For the singles who choose this path I’d like to place a solid bet on who might be waiting around the corner…