Never Been in a Relationship? These 3 Gifts Are Uniquely Yours

You’ve never been in a relationship. Never been chosen. Never experienced romantic reciprocity.

And you’ve missed milestones considered important, central, and as a given: your first love, first serious relationship, marriage or children.

While at the same time, you’re witnessing many around you experiencing and moving forward in their love lives.

You’ve probably questioned yourself, your value or felt sadness, frustration or like you’re missing out.

But here’s what’s easy to miss.

When you’ve never been in a relationship, you develop and carry unique gifts. They’re not encouraged. Not validated. Rarely celebrated. But they’re valuable.

Therefore, I’d like to highlight for you three of these gifts.

Never having a relationship awakens your inner compass

Society’s template for what your love life should look like and how it should unfold, provides security and predictability. It’s a beaten path everyone recognizes. But when you’ve never been in a relationship, the standard road map we “should” follow becomes useless.

But here lies your unique opportunity. When you can’t peek at the normative formula of life, you’re forced to turn inwards for direction. This is where your inner compass awakens.

This path leads you into deep self-awareness and knowledge through courage. Courage, because you’re walking into the unknown– by yourself.  

And over time, if you act on your inner compass, you’ll develop genuine independence. This is the result of you facing life alone with your unique compass as your guide. Genuine independence is when you become your own go-to person for everything. You’ll feel what’s true for you regardless of normative conditioning. This sort of independence is rarely encouraged (unlike practical/material independence). But it’s more than valuable.

And if/when you meet a partner, you do so as the awakened and (genuinely) independent version of yourself.

Few reminders if you’ve never been in a relationship:

• You’re not on the easiest path, but it carries massive potential
• It’s now your inner compass develops and strengthens
• You develop genuine independence

Never having had a relationship expands your awareness – inwards and outwards

When you don’t live according to the norm, you may experience it as standing outside looking in. At first it feels uncomfortable – you instinctively want to be part of the pack. But when that’s not possible, you’re forced on some level to reach acceptance.

This is where the magic begins.

Acceptance adjusts your perspective from normative to objective. Collective unspoken beliefs, assumptions, and expectations about relationships most automatically buy into, you can see through and at times, question. This gives you the ability to move more consciously in life.

The awareness you develop when you’ve never had a relationship is unshakeable and is applied not just to love life – but to everything.

And if you one day “join” the norm in love, it will be a conscious choice and on your terms. Not driven by autopilot, social pressures or assumptions.

When you’ve never been in a relationship, ask yourself:

• Have you become aware of unspoken collective rules regarding love life?
• Do you feel the norm is the “right” schedule or one path among many?
• Would you say you’re more “awake” than most people around you?

Are you struggling with the fact that you’ve never been in a relationship? Try digital single coaching. The first conversation is free to see if/how I can help you. Find out more about single coaching here.

Never been in a relationship? Your life meaning is created by you – not the norm

“Children are the meaning of life”- how many times have you heard this?

Many follow or want to follow the norm because it’s assumed to carry meaning. And as humans we need to feel meaning. A partner and children are one way. But there are many more paths.

When you’ve never had a relationship to lean on, you’re on some level forced to create your own meaning. You might have be or have been on the journey from feeling lack in your life to creating meaning which will automatically fall outside the normative scope.  

Creating your own meaning doesn’t mean it’s always easy on the contrary, it can be challenging at times. But you’re doing it. And this, at its core is an expression of self-love.

And the bonus? You’re a living example for others. You reflect that a meaningful life can look different ways. You expand others’ thinking. Inspire them. Even if no one says it to your face, you’ve planted a seed.

You might not realize it, so here are some reminders for you who have never had a relationship:

• The meaning of life is so much more than a partner and children.
• You create your own meaning in life and that is self-love in its rawest form
• You influence people around you even if no one says anything. They see you.

If you’ve never been in a relationship, it’s never a failure. It’s simply another route without an instruction manual and therefore you have to figure yourself and life out, as you go.

/Nouseibah

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