To the involuntary singles

How do you live a fulfilling single life? For those who are single by choice, who’s to say that can’t be a satisfactory life? Besides from what society, pop culture and tradition tells us of course 🙂

For the involuntary singles, the thought of having a fulfilling single life might not exactly feel like a possibility. The baseline for life-satisfaction may be set under the optimal. There might be a belief that life can only get better when a partner comes along and induces whatever it is we wish and that’s the only route in which we reach what’s desired. There is also the “life on pause” mindset, it’s basically a life paralysation where life is a constant wait, and the start button can only be pressed by a significant other. Only then, does life “really begin”. Or how about when we dislike our lives and we’ll point at anything as an excuse (not having a partner) instead of creating an existence that we’re content with.

The road from unhappily single to a happy one may take some time, mostly because there are some patterns to break. You’re in luck though since this happens to be my area of expertise :)What I want to do is give you is a nudge in the right direction!

Fist things first though, here is something to think about. If we look closely at relationships it’s a type of investment. I mean people invest their time and energy getting to know all aspects of another. Later on for the relationship to flourish and deepen between the two, you need to face different challenges and contexts right? You get to experience another persons uncensured self and show yours, you see both the bad sides, the great qualities and everything in between. Well, when you are single guess with who you can have a similar kind of journey? I’m pretty sure you’ve guessed it but just to make sure, with yourself!

I’ve gone from being involuntary single to a voluntary happy one. It hit my quite recently to be honest, how much I love, enjoy and take for granted my freedom and selfish lifestyle with zero compromise while constantly getting to know myself better. But it does take work and it’s not always easy (but what is right?).
So if I could talk to my involuntary single self what would I say? If I remember things correctly, nothing I say would be helpful. Or actually, it might be for a short while and then slowly things would get back to it’s old ways. So instead I’d thought I would try another approach. From now on I will show what works for me. Hopefully that can trigger some inspiration or new ideas of what could work for you (obviously it’s not going to be the same for everyone), trust me that’s when the real fun begins!

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