What’s the bright side of online dating ( no, it’s not a trick question)?

What is the bright side of online dating? And no, this is not a trick question. Generally speaking, dating apps and websites seem to have a negative reputation (to different degrees) which is a shame and it’s time we turn this around! Digital dating has positive sides and I feel it’s my duty to highlight these. 

If I was in charge of directing a commercial for a dating app the narration would go something like: “Do you want to discover what you’re made of? Become better at firmly voicing your opinion/needs/wants? Learn the skill of calling out bad behavior? Get in touch with uncomfortable situations and emotions? Lecture people on basic manners and etiquette? Then, online dating might be perfect for you! Sign up today and will throw in the experience of ghosting, catfishing and love bombing at no extra charge! If you actively date online for a minimum of 3 months, we guarantee it will transform you on every level! We’re talking mental, emotional and psychological! Don’t miss out on this epic once in a lifetime opportunity to become a new version of yourself!”

I’m aware that people make romantic connections over the web and that’s wonderful. But to save online datings’ tarnished name, I’d aim for a “personal development” branding angle. I’d also make it my mission to dish out diplomas to all singles who dare set foot in the online dating world regardless of how it goes. And for those who don’t become pessimistic or lose faith in people or their love life, would receive a well deserved badge of honor and strength. Online dating has the potential to transform optimism to cynicism real quick!

Although my online dating days are long gone I still recommend people to have the experience. Not for the promoted reasons of meeting “the one” but because it can be the perfect learning ground (especially for people pleasers) to get a back bone, realize their value and develop emotional resilience. It may not be all pleasant but it is an effective method for growth at a fraction of the cost of therapy or coaching sessions. But be prepared, your sanity might be pushed to the limit at times, you might find yourself in the weirdest situations and connecting to all sorts of crazies. Don’t worry and be reassured, it’s all part of the glorious online dating ride. 

You’ve pulled through and graduated with excellence, when you truly realize the bright side of dating apps and websites. Here are a few examples of (my) benefits steaming from online dating:

-A realistic and nuanced view of people, the rose colored glasses are tossed to the side. Not everyone is good at heart, genuine or has pure intentions. At the same time, there’s a deeper appreciation for those who do (regardless of how things progress). 

-Valuing personal energy and time with none to waste. 

-Realizing the importance of sifting and handpicking which people to potentially allow into one’s life, it’s not a revolving door.

-”Anyone” is never better than no one.  

-Learning the word “no”. 

-New interactions and connections should bring calm not stress.

-Detecting red flags early on and moving on.

-Personal integrity = attractivness

-Actions and non actions speak (way) louder than words.

-Improvments at handling rejection and disappointments. This is work done behind closed doors and is all about self-soothing, comforting and picking oneself back up!

See? it’s not all bad. And if you happen to meet “the one” along the way, that’s just a bonus.

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