A while back I wrote a text called “That one issue”. To recap, every single one of us has (at least) one area in life where reoccurring struggles seem to emerge. The issue can be related to health, friendship, work, finances, personal relationships etc. Characteristics of “that one issue” are the progressive mini steps in the life area it may concern, the clear uneven distribution between the amount of effort you put in to “solve” the issue and the objective results. When you believe your luck may have turned and your pattern is now dissolved, it slides right back into your life. “That one issue” can spark strong negative emotions ranging from frustration to flat out self destructive behaviour. The seemingly stagnant movement forward combined with repetitive trials, commonly leads to the classic question “why does this keep happening to me”? 

“That one issue” drama although painful does bear multiple purposes. For starters, the scenario will trigger you and hopefully your response will be to trace the root cause to your reaction by turning within and asking questions such as; what am I feeling? What do I believe the scenario says about me? Where does it stem from? “What do I need to hear at this moment that would make me feel better? (an advice would be to tell yourself the answer)” and so on. This sort of self interaction will accumulate knowledge about the self and provide healing. Each time the issue represents itself indicates there’s yet another layer to ourselves needing attending to ( if you’re uncertain how to go about “attending to yourself” take a look at “When you’re triggered as f**k”).

There’s another surprising element to “That one issue” that’s often overlooked. It’s designed to be a personalized measuring stick for inner growth. The reoccurring obstacles are a constant reference point for the inner reactions such as thoughts, emotions and most importantly your attitude towards yourself. With time and work, you’ll be able to take note of your internal progress by comparing current and past reactions regarding “That one issue”. Thanks to this annoying revisitor you’ll be able to perceive the scope of your maturity. Remember though this is an individual tool only to assess your growth, so don’t sneak peak at anyone else! 

I’ll finish by demonstrating how the measuring device works so you get the gist of it. Let’s say a man is in a scenario facing rejection by a woman he’s romantically interested in (his “That one issue”). Initially he might turn against himself, agreeing with the rejection and even add a never ending list of his flaws as a basis for it. Fast forwarding a dussin rejections later (and obviously acceptance situations also but I’m only focusing on “That one ossue”) and a whole lot of inner work he can’t possibly have an identical response. He might begin to recognize the repetitive scenario for what it actually is. Perhaps he’ll still feel a negative sting of the rejection but has reached a place where he’s supporting himself and attributing the rejection to something outside himself, non related to his value.  

So, when facing the intervals of “That one issue” please don’t beat yourself up allow whatever is unleashed to come forth. Then, remind yourself of the purposes “That one issue” holds, utilize the situation and you’ll sense the magnitude of your own evolution.